


C.F.G.

by DustToDust



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 14:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustToDust/pseuds/DustToDust
Summary: An old collection of fanfic.





	1. Crispy Fried Goat

**Author's Note:**

> All fics from here on out until further notice were written under a different pen-name that I erased years ago. I'm trying to portion the fics out on pairings. Kinda difficult with my previous collection of drabbles under my current name. This chapter is an old kink meme missfire fill dealing with goats and sacrifice.

"You killed the goat?" Desmond _finally_ spoke. 

Shaun sighed and mentally kissed his good fortune adieu. Not hearing Desmond prattle on about anything and everything for a day had been a welcome respite. The man could --and had on one occasion that would never be repeated as long as Shaun had access to a gun-- talk about specks of dust for hours on end just to hear the sound of his own voice. So, the day of silence had been blissful and he'd made no effort to hide how very pleased with the situation he'd been. Lucy and Rebecca had made some concerned noises but they weren't constantly being badgered by the man so they couldn't properly appreciate it.

"You _killed_ the goat!" Desmond repeated. Voice swerving from petulant and childish to outraged and childish.

"Yes, Desmond," Shaun said dryly as he started up his laptop for the days work, "I killed the goat."

Desmond gave him a look filled with so much betrayal and heartbreak that Shaun looked around to make sure his life hadn't been turned into some ridiculous soap opera without him being told. There were no cameras though. Only Lucy tiredly rubbing her head and Rebecca failing to hide her grin. He gave her a glare which only made the grin grow.

Desmond sputtered. Obviously finding it hard to scrape together enough of his fried brain cells to work through what he wanted to say. "Why?"

"We're running low on our food rations," Shaun said typing in his password and pulling up the previous day's work. The sooner the idiot got into the Animus the sooner Shaun could go back to enjoying the quiet.

"You cooked him!?" Desmond screeched looking pale and vaguely ill. 

"No, I offered it's corpse as a sacrifice in the hopes that a semi of supplies would fall out of the sky for us. Just where the bloody hell do you think we'd get food around here?" Shaun swept his had around him to indicate the abandoned farm and bare land outside it. "It may have escaped your attention but we're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Can't exactly run to the corner store now can we?"

Shaun thought that was a fairly reasonable argument. One that would end this conversation, but, as always, Desmond failed to be swayed by petty things like logic.

"You cooked _Bernie_ you fucking bastard!" Desmond was suddenly much closer. His face red in anger and eyes almost glowing with it. Shaun stood up from his chair automatically at the swift motion. Not feeling very comfortable sitting down while Desmond stood over him, fists clenched hard enough to make the muscles under his tattoo quiver.

"You named it?" Shaun ignored the man's proximity --and the little voice that told him he might want to shut the fuck up right now-- and arched one eyebrow as he smirked. Good Lord, forget the soap opera. He had to be in a Disney movie, and Desmond was about to break down in song about his lost best friend. "How quaint. Did you paint it's hooves and tell it all your secrets too, Princess?"

"Shut the fuck up, Shaun!" Desmond snarled taking a step closer and trying to intimidate him by crowding him. "Figures a cold bastard like you'd eat a defenseless goat without feeling anything. Did you like it? Did Bernie taste good, goat murderer!?"

"Yes! I ate the damn goat and it tasted fan-_fucking_-tastic!" Shaun shouted back getting up in Desmond's face and refusing to back down over something this fucking ridiculous. Anger flared from it's usual slow burn into a quick fire as he growled, "And you know what? So did you! Yum, yum bitch!"

Desmond made a very interesting noise, face contorting into something that Shaun had never seen before. Which was all the warning he got before the other man jumped at Shaun, fists flying and every single thing he'd ever learned about fighting gone. That suited Shaun just fine as he lashed out at whatever part of the fucking bastard was closest.

~

Lucy watched the fight escalate and wondered why the hell she'd even bothered getting out of bed that day. Shaun's glasses skittered across the floor to rest safely near the base of the Animus as the two men traded punches, kicks, and even a few bites.

"Should I tell him Shaun's lying?" Rebecca casually asked as she wheeled her chair out of their way and closer to Lucy. She was grinning but Lucy didn't miss the way her eyes narrowed whenever the boys got too close to her baby. 

The goat, Bernie, had been a, well, _goat_. And goats apparently had a terrible habit of eating things they should not if they were lying around within reach of their teeth. Including high voltage power lines. Why Shaun had felt compelled to take credit for it, and Lucy's decision to not let good meat go to waste was a mystery to her. One that probably linked in to why Desmond felt compelled to fight over a dead animal that she _knew_ he'd tried to kill himself after it ate one of his shoes.

"No," Lucy decided after much silent debate, during which Shaun had managed to roll Desmond under him and was now smacking his head off the floor. "I think they both need this too much. Maybe once they're done airing out their testosterone they'll finally get around to getting rid of all that sexual tension."

Rebecca laughed.


	2. Crawling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another kink meme missfire fill.

"Goddammit," Desmond panted past the constriction on his throat. The collar around his neck pulled tight enough to make breathing difficult let alone talking. A quick yank of the leash cut even that off forcing him to crawl forward for a little slack. A little air.

Nothing else mattered at the moment. Not the cold concrete under his knees and hands. Not the sting of scratches from it's roughness. Desmond gasped when the collar loosened again, letting him breathe. "Shaun-"

Shaun pulled on the leash again, cutting off his airflow for precious seconds before allowing it to slacken again. His smile was cool and distant but the fire in his eyes as he looked down was _hungry_. His accent thick and voice rough from arousal making Desmond feel breathless for an entirely different reason. "Come on, Desmond, crawl for me."

~

*

~


	3. More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missfire fill.

"Ah, fuck," Desmond panted as he was forcefully held still by his hips. Shaun pulling him down until he sat fully in his lap. Back resting against the man's chest and legs hooked over the arms of the chair. It was a humiliatingly open position that gave Desmond no leverage at all to work with. Just forced him to sit on the man's dick and _feel_ it.

Hot breath washed over his ear as Shaun started speaking. Voice low and sending shivers up his spine. "You'll be begging me to fuck you soon. Toss you over the desk and pound you good and hard. Make you scream for more until you weep and forget how to talk."

Desmond writhed, feeling the teasing shift of Shaun's dick inside him. Not nearly enough to satisfy, "Please, Shaun!"

"Yes, just like that," Shaun held on tight enough to leave bruises as Desmond tried to buck up. Denying him even that little bit of movement. Shaun pressed a harsh kiss to Desmond's neck. "But you're not nearly desperate enough yet."

"Oh, ffffuck," the curse was heartfelt and drawn out on a moan as Desmond tried desperately to gather his scattered thoughts long enough to focus and give Shaun what he wanted.

Half his mind was preoccupied with how fucking fantastic Shaun felt. Hard dick right up his ass and hot body all along his back. Surprisingly calloused fingers rubbing the taut skin over his hips. Lips and tongue exploring his neck and wrecking any coherent thought Desmond might've once had. The other half was nothing more than a screaming mess of lust that made him mindlessly arch into those touches and buck against Shaun's restraining hands, Demanding more, harder, faster, and demanding it right now. Neither half was quite up for speech at the moment.

"So fucking hot," Shaun's voice was hoarse, his accent sounding thicker. Hard teeth lightly grazed his neck and Desmond let his head drop back to give more of it to that mouth. "Come on, love, beg me for it."

"Uhhhh," Desmond licked his lips and shuddered. It took a few tries before he could do anything more than moan. "Please. Shaun, fuck me. I want you to, ah, just fuck me!"

"Good, boy," Shaun ground up into Desmond. Teasing circular motions that drew a choked off whine from him. Shaun made a sound that Desmond felt more than heard. "Now tell me why."

"No!" Desmond's breath caught as Shaun stopped moving, once again forcing him still. His own dick throbbed. Hot and heavy on his stomach, but he knew better than to touch himself now. "I want you! I want to feel your dick in me, moving and fucking me hard. I want you to fuck me so hard I'll feel it in the morning!"

"Keep going," Shaun was panting now, grinding up in a way that seemed more like something he couldn't stop instead of a tease. "Tell me more."

Desmond stopped thinking, just opened his mouth and let the words spill out. "I want your dick so far inside me I can't feel anything else. I don't want to sit tomorrow, Shaun. I want to limp onto the Animus. I want to be fucked so good I won't care about what Rebecca'll say. I, ah, fuck! Shaun, fuck me!"

"Want it so bad you can taste it now, can't you?" Shaun moaned right into his ear, rewarding him with one shallow thrust that had Desmond keening for more. 

"Yes, yes, Shaun!" Desmond was beyond words now. Moaning and begging wordlessly. "Please!"

Shaun groaned and let go. Desmond barely got his arms up in time to stop his face from smacking into the desk as he was pushed forward. The chair fell backward with a bang and then Shaun was fucking him. Hard and fast, angling himself just right to hit that spot that made Desmond's eyes roll back. One hand planted on the desk next to Desmond's face. The other on his hip, pulling him back into each thrust.

Desmond _loved_ it. Spread his legs wide and cried out on every thrust in. Pleasure coiling up tight in his dick, and he knew it wouldn't take much longer. Not with the way Shaun had wound him up so hard already. Not with the other man muttering absolutely _filthy_ things Desmond could barely hear over the sound of their skin meeting. And definitely not when the hand on his hip slid down to roughly fist his erection.

Desmond bit his arm to muffle his scream as he came. Shaun fucked him through it, not slowing but his pace getting faster and his moans louder. Desmond gasped as the man continued to hit his prostate. Making his spent dick twitch at the feeling. "Shaun."

"Ah!" Shaun thrust in one last time and went utterly still as he came. Filling Desmond up with more than just his dick. He slumped down over him. Weight pressing Desmond onto the desk in ways that would quickly become uncomfortable as soon as the afterglow started wearing off. Which was just fine for Desmond, he was perfectly happy to just lay there for a while and _feel_ how wonderfully he'd just been screwed.

"So," Shaun eventually stirred himself enough to take some of his weight off of Desmond. He made no move to pull out though. Lips brushed his ear as the man spoke, "Fourteen more to go. What do you want to try next?"


	4. Not a Complete Lie

The cake was a decadent looking chocolate vision. Three tiers of rich chocolate cake with layers of chocolate ganache in between. It was covered with a thick layer of creamy icing. Grated pieces of chocolate --white and dark-- were spread out on the top and a little on the side. Each individually sliced piece had a dollop of whipped cream with a bright maraschino cherry on top. 

Desmond had never wanted a single thing more in his life than he wanted that cake. He'd planned it out. Timing his plan to coincide with the varied schedules of the others. Carefully watching them and patiently waiting for the perfect time to go for it. Ignoring his growing sense of urgency as it disappeared slice by slice until the perfect opportunity arose. Lucy was gone on a supply run, she wouldn't be back until dinner. Rebecca had just started her almost ritualistic hour long shower that would not be interrupted by anything short of the Animus bursting into flames. Shaun was safely wrapped up in something on his computer with a full, hot cup of tea he would slowly sip for the next two hours.

The timing didn't get any better than that. With only one piece remaining, Desmond decided to take a chance. Moving quickly but quietly in the kitchen. Getting a plate and fork and then carefully transferring the cake out of it's box. Smelling the sweet scent of the treat and success. Days of planning, nights of wanting. It was all worth it. 

For all of two seconds.

"What the fuck, man!?" Desmond actually _growled_ as the plate was snatched away. His fork --left dangling in midair-- was spun and clenched in his fist menacingly as he rounded on his sneaky opponent.

Shaun held the plate and it's slice of cake away and shook his head with an exaggerated sigh. "I thought we went over this before, Desmond. Fat men don't get dessert."

"It's just one piece," Desmond protested. Eying the distance to the cake and calculating the odds of getting to it before Shaun dropped it on the floor. The numbers were perilously low. "And I'm not fat!"

"That roll of flesh spilling out of your jeans says otherwise," Shaun said as he looked at the cake. "Better yet, tell it to someone that hasn't seen how much trouble you have putting those jeans on."

"It's not that bad," Desmond hated that his words came out suspiciously close to a whine. Sure, his jeans were getting a little on the tight side, and he might --_might!_\-- have a little problem putting them on in the mornings, but that was to be expected. Clothes shrank, especially when they had to be washed so often because you had nothing else to wear. Regular workouts between Animus sessions were also doing their bit as he started to gain muscle mass. It had _nothing_ to do with being fat. "One fucking piece isn't going to kill me."

It was a lost cause though. Shaun wouldn't budge on the issue anymore than Lucy or Rebecca would. Especially not if he could show off just how much of a dick he was at the same time. Desmond wondered what his odds were of catching one forkful of the cake before it got dropped. Wondered if it was really worth the price the women would exact for it, because Shaun would of course tell them all about it the first chance he got.

"No. You are on a diet until that excess fat goes away. Which means," Shaun grinned then because he was a son of a bitch, "no cake for you."

And then, because he was a _sadistic_ son of a bitch, he snagged the fork out of Desmond's hand and walked off with the plate. Humming in obvious enjoyment as he ate it. "Asshole!"


	5. Provides Access

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missfire fills gained new life when spambots started targeting the kink meme.

"I don't!" Desmond protested loudly when he'd backed into the wall and run out of room to run.

"Please," Rebecca rolled her eyes. Gesturing at him with her half-eaten bagel. "I see you do it all the time, Des. You've done it three times today and it isn't even noon!"

"Look," Desmond started then trailed off. He looked pained and his eyes kept darting towards the door behind her. "I _don't_ look at Shaun's ass, alright?"

"Bull!" Rebecca sang out as she grinned. "You don't even check Lucy out half as much as you do Shaun. And she wears tighter pants. Just admit it, you've got a gay crush on him."

"No!" Desmond flushed quite cutely as he pushed past her and headed out the door. Stopping just long enough to snap, "I'm straight, dammit!"

~

Lucy sighed as she noticed the lack of typing coming from one corner of the room. She didn't even need to look back to know the cause. "Shaun, stop staring at Desmond. We need your attention on those documents."

"I've already finished, Lucy," Shaun said with an only slightly aggravated tone. She waited as the man paused before continuing in a icy voice, "And I was not staring at Desmond."

"Of course not," Lucy agreed with a well hidden smile. She glanced over her shoulder at the Animus and it's occupant. "I can't say that I blame you though."

Shaun pushed back from his desk, wheeling his chair over so he could give her a very flat and pissy look. "What?"

"For looking," Lucy met that look with a smug little grin. "He's practically edible without a shirt on."

"I wouldn't know, Lucy. For your information," Shaun said stiffly, face turning an interesting shade of red as he wheeled back to his desk, "I'm straight."

~

Shaun had avoided him like the plague all day. He didn't look at him, talk to him, or even acknowledge him. Which wasn't a whole lot different than a normal day except now the man was taking it to extreme levels that made him swear Shaun had been a ninja in a previous life. Earlier he'd followed Shaun into the kitchen to ask about something, but had only been faced with and empty room. He'd almost chalked it up as another --disturbing-- hallucination when Rebecca had come in after him and did a double-take. The kitchen had one door and a window too small for anyone to fit through, and they'd both checked it thoroughly. Shaun had just disappeared.

Desmond was still trying to figure that one out when he sat down at the computers that night a crumpled post-it note in hand. He squinted at it and then tried the password with Lucy's account.

It wasn't snooping. He was just bored and it wasn't his fault that Rebecca hadn't gotten around to giving him his own access to the network.

The password wasn't Lucy's and it wasn't Rebeccas's. He was surprised to find that it worked on Shaun's though. He'd always thought the other man too paranoid to leave his password lying out in the open.

Shaun's inbox was mostly empty. A few emails from other teams and a truly boring correspondence with someone about politics. And one untitled email from Rebecca that was just a link.

[Many thanks for the article. I will have a link back to this information from our fresh blog. Thanks again.](http://www.webmd.com/sex/news/20060918/many-straight-men-have-gay-sex)

Bored, Desmond clicked on it.

~

"That wasn't the reaction I was going for," Rebecca grumped into her coffee.

"Hm," Lucy agreed as she tiredly watched Shaun and Desmond studiously maintain a twenty foot bubble of space between them at all times. Without looking at the other once even though they were in a room that was roughly only _fifteen_ square feet.

"Next time, we'll go with your plan," Rebecca said. "I'll start work on reinforcing that closet tonight. You'll need to get a padlock for the door though, the one on it'll break too easily."

"I'll get it after I'm awake," Lucy sighed and buried her face in her mug of coffee. Remembering fondly the days when she didn't have to worry about team members acting like eight year olds.


	6. This Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missfire fill.

Desmond was in fucking love.

"Oh yeah," he moaned as he fisted the short hair of the British patron doing an absolutely fantastic job of sucking Desmond's brains out through his dick.

The man hummed in response going down all the way and swallowing, leaving Desmond swearing and seeing supernovas behind his eyes as he thrust his hips. Desmond forced his eyes open, not sure when they closed. He had to fucking see it. Had to watch his fingers thread through the man's hair, and watch his dick slide in and out of that talented mouth.

The man was looking up at him over his glasses, nose brushing Desmond's skin, and lips stretched wide around his dick. Spit slick and shining in the flickering light of the alley, "Fucking beautiful."

He didn't protest when Desmond pulled on his hair, forcing him to take more of his dick into that slick heat. The guy actually seemed to like it, relaxing his throat to take him --fuck!-- all the way in. And just before he came with mind numbing force, Desmond swore he'd propose if the man swallowed.

~

*

~


	7. Timing

It was the most ridiculous situation he'd ever had to endure. Considering the fact that his most embarrassing moments of life could all too easily be found on YouTube --and thank _something_ for the fact that no one had tried googling his name yet-- that said something.

Shaun Hastings was a grown man. He'd survived primary school while wearing inch thick glasses, Uni while mostly drunk, apathetic students, Abstergos' hired thugs, and Rebecca. He did things for a living that Ian Flemming wouldn't have thought possible. He knew enough of the true history of the world to make Dan Brown --_innocent_ despite his best efforts to connect the man to Abstergos-- green with envy. He was smart dammit! Worldly and knowledgeable and all that rot. 

None of it, not one single bit of it, saved him from this bloody ridiculous situation.

He was _gaping_. While naked and hard, straddling an equally naked and hard Desmond Miles in the tiny closet which was the only place in the warehouse he could be sure Rebecca wouldn't "accidentally" stumble upon them. Shaun was slick and prepared to take the hard prick nudging against his backside. A quick, hard fuck stopped cold as Desmond uttered four words. Three of which Shaun could barely comprehend. "Fuck, I love you."

Shaun closed his mouth with a snap and glared at the idiot. He had to fight hard to restrain the urge to hit him. "We're going to have a talk after this about your awful timing."

"Whatever you say," Desmond had the audacity to snicker as he rubbed himself against Shaun. "Anyone ever tell you you're kinda cute when you're speechless and blushing?"

"Shut up," Shaun growled, and when that only got more snickering he forced the issue by sinking down on the man's prick. Effectively stopping any laughter, teasing, or bloody _love_ confessions for the next ten to fifteen minutes.

~

*

~


	8. The Internet Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Kink meme fill](https://asscreedkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/2158.html?thread=11978606#cmt11978606) where the dialogue was provided.

"I cannot believe you actually thought that was a good idea," Shaun eventually says for lack of anything better to say. Anything that isn't a blistering wall of pain and threats that got old after the first thirty minutes of him kicking Desmond off of him. He hisses as the small icepack touches his skin. The iciness is both a relief and an agony that's almost worse than the pain itself. Almost.

"Have I mentioned that I'm really, really, really sorry?" Desmond does look very pathetic and regretful. It does very little to easy the absolute fire of pain Shaun's feeling. Especially not with the way the lying bastard's lips keep wanting to quirk up into a smirk as he watches Shaun. "Like, really and truly? And I swear, I thought you would enjoy it! The people on the internet said-"

"The people on the internet are idiots who have probably never had or seen real sex in their lives!" Shaun snaps back, cutting that idiotic excuse off fast. Going to the internet for any sort of answer is beyond stupid for someone like Desmond who as admitted to not knowing much about using it. The only way to get something right from it is to post the wrong answer somewhere, and even then you have to wade through an astonishing amount of stupidity to get the truth.

Desmond has the good grace to grimace and nod in agreement over his idiocy. He shifts on the bed and looks around the room uneasily. Shaun takes pleasure in his discomfort and keeps his glare up as the dumbass fidgets with his battered bag a bit. He eventually comes up with a crumbled square of foil which he holds out like a peace offering. "-want some chocolate?"

"Screw you this goes beyond apology-chocolate, and I didn't even think that was possible!" Shaun doesn't exactly smack the candy away from Desmond, chocolate is a luxury commodity that the girls don't indulge in when they go for supply runs, and he's not going to risk making it inedible. His sweet tooth won't allow him to do that in good conscience. "And from now on, stay the hell away from my nipples."

"Aaaaw!" Desmond pulls an exaggerated pout, and Shaun uses his free hand to snatch the square of chocolate away before kicking him off the edge of the bed. The jolt sends a bit of pain through him but it's worth it to hear the yelp when Desmond crashes to the concrete floor.


End file.
